EWA ARCHIVE | home
18 MEN,
4 MATCHES,
4 WINNERS,
4 CHAMPIONS
EWA PRESENTS...
EVE OF DESTRUCTION
B.A.: EVE OF DESTRUCTION HAS ARRIVED AND ALL BETS ARE OFF AS THIS CAPACITY CROWD GETS THE PLEASURE OF SEEING EVERY TITLE ON THE LINE TONIGHT IN THE EWA'S VERY FIRST PAY-PER-VIEW EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!
Mr. D: WOOOHOOOO!!!! IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF AS EVERYONE IS GETTING A TITLE SHOT TONIGHT, BILL!!!!
B.A.: That's right D, and the first bout tonight will be a royal rumble style match for the EWA T.V. Title!!! Two participants will begin in the ring and then every minute another competitor will come down at the sound of the horn.
Mr.D: From there if you get thrown over the rope your eliminated, and finally when there are only two competitors left the last two will participate in a normal rules match where the only way to win is to get a pinfall or submission.
B.A.: I'll be damned!!!! You actually are paying attention!!!! You are absolutely correct!!!
( "Oh Yeah" by Yello breaks into the commentary as the crowd begins to send a flurry of hisses and boos through the air. Buck Naked walks out from under the curtain wearing his terry towel around his waist. Buck makes a scornful look to the crowd that turns into a smile as he enters the ring. He removes his towel revealing his wrestling shorts with the words "Bucked Up" stitched across the back.
Offspring: Day after day your home life's a wreck
The powers that be just
Breathe down your neck
You get no respect
You get no relief
You gotta speak up
And yell out your piece
The crowds boos turn into thundering cheers as Jesus Gonzalez makes his way from the backstage area. Jesus dawning his wrestling attire and signature blue and white mask slaps the hands of the fans as he jogs down to the ring and up the ring steps. Jesus throws a leg in and hesitates as the referee Jack Cole holds Buck Naked at bay so Jesus can enter unabated.)
B.A.: Looks like Buck Naked and everyone's favorite luchadore Jesus Gonzalez, a master of martial arts, will begin the first leg of this match up.
Mr.D: Martial Arts!!!! This is wrestling Gonzalez ain't got a chance versus Naked!!!!
The two men circle each other in the ring as Cole calls for the bell. A digital clock appears on the Psychotron counting down the seconds until the next competitor comes in. The two lock up in a collar and elbow. Naked quickly switches Gonzalez into a headlock. Gonzalez shoves Naked off into the far ropes. Naked rebounds hitting Jesus with a shoulder tackle sending Gonzalez crashing to the mat. Naked darts for the nearest rope as Gonzalez roles over onto his belly making Buck hurdle him. Gonzalez leapfrogs Naked as he comes back off the ropes. Gonzalez anticipates another rebound and leaps into the air for a dropkick but Buck grasps the top rope stopping his built up momentum. Gonzalez lays a devastating dropkick into thin air and crashes down on the mat.
B.A.: Jesus a little to over zealous there and goes for the dropkick about a half second to early and gives an advantage to Buck.
Mr.D: Yeah Gonzalez was a little premature!!! HAHA!!!!
B.A.: Please, lets not start the night out like this!!!!
Naked quickly goes on the attack while Gonzalez is on the ground using a flurry of mounted punches to stun Jesus. Buck returns to his feet and lifts Jesus up using the mask as leverage. Buck positions Gonzalez in front of him and snaps his head back cupping Jesus' chin underneath his arms and performing a Reverse DDT. Buck struts around the ring egotistically and then picks Gonzalez up again brawling him against the ropes. Jesus, unable to retaliate, throws his arms around the top rope grasping for life as Buck lifts Gonzalez feet up trying to throw Jesus over the rope for the elimination.
B.A.: WE MAY HAVE OUR FIRST ELIMINATION HERE!!!!
Crowd: 3.....2....1.....(Horn)
"Forsaken" by David Draiman sounds at the end of the horn blast. Johnny Thunder comes sprinting out of the back, down the ramp, sliding into the ring. Thunder runs over to Buck, who's back is turned trying still to get Gonzalez over, and lands a forearms shot to the middle of Naked's back. Thunder goes for a wastelock and lifts Naked into the air hitting a quick German Suplex. Gonzalez falls to the mat inside the ring. Thunder follows up his offense on Naked stomping repeatedly on Naked. Thunder turns his attention to Gonzalez and goes over landing a few stomps on Jesus. Buck starts to his feet as Thunder's attention is diverted and darts toward Johnny. Thunder hears the pounding footsteps of Buck behind him and quickly ducks out of the way causing Buck to miss his original target and landing a Clothesline on Gonzalez who is leaning against the ropes. Gonzalez flips over the top rope backwards and out of the ring but quickly catches the top rope keeping his feet from hitting the floor. Gonzalez roles back into the ring under the bottom rope as Buck and Thunder stand toe to toe exchanging punches in the ring.
B.A.: A NEAR ELIMINATION AGAIN ON GONZALEZ BUT HE MANAGES TO STAY ALIVE WITH THAT DESPERATION GRAB ON THE TOP ROPES!!!!
Mr.D: I SAW HIS FEET HIT THE FLOOR, HE'S OUT OF HERE, THAT REF ISN'T DOING HIS JOB!!!
B.A.: Oh you did not!!!!
Thunder gains the advantage with a quick front kick to Naked's midsection. Thunder grabs Buck's head as he's bent over and performs a Swinging Neckbreaker on Naked. Thunder quickly goes to a near turnbuckle and climbs to the top. Gonzalez in the opposite corner slowly pulls himself up on the turnbuckles. Thunder leaps from the top and delivers The High Voltage leg drop on Naked. Thunder quickly gets up and runs to the opposite side of the ring and performs The Diamond Dust on Gonzalez in the corner.
B.A.: THUNDER IS A MAN POSSESSED LANDING TWO DEVASTATING MOVES ON TWO DIFFERENT OPPONENTS!! HE WANTS THE TV TITLE IN A BAD WAY!!!!
Thunder lifts Gonzalez up by the mask swings him around almost full circle and throws Gonzalez into the air and over the near top rope. Gonzalez falls to the floor motionless as Jack Cole walks over to Jesus to tell him he is eliminated. Inside the ring, Naked stumbles as he get to his feet and falls into a corner. Thunder turns his attention back to his sole opponent and sprints toward naked for a clothesline but Naked thinks quickly and brings his foot up landing a boot to Thunder's chin.
Crowd: 3...2...1...(horn)
The song "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool play's then a series of explosions go off. Out comes Ravage and while he walks to the arena he looks out into the crowd. He gets into the ring as Naked goes after Thunder. Ravage takes the advantage, pummeling Naked as his back is turned. Ravage goes to stomping naked in the middle of the ring while Thunder regains his composure and aids in the stomping with Ravage. Ravage and Thunder work together and lift up Naked flinging him across the ring. Both men duck down and perform a Double Back Drop on Naked. Naked shoots his upper body off the canvass screaming and clutching his back. Thunder reaches down for a handful of hair on Naked but Ravage sends a forearm shot to Thunder's back. Thunder goes down and Ravage picks up Naked. Ravage puts Naked into a standing headscissors and hoists him up into the air performing a Powerbomb on Naked in the middle of the ring. Naked, motionless, is dragged up to his feet by Ravage who scoops Buck up into body slam position and walks over to the ropes with Naked on his shoulder. Ravage, nears the rope with momentum and goes for the throw, Thunder kicks up into the air to his feet and leaps again dropkicking Ravage in the back. Ravage, and Naked both go over the tope rope out to the floor.
B.A.: A DOUBLE ELIMINATION!!! BUCK NAKED AND RAVAGE HAVE BOTH BEEN ELIMINATED BY THE YOUNGSTER JOHNNY THUNDER!!!!
Mr.D: OH MY GOD I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!! RAVAGE HAS BEEN CHEATED!!!! THUNDER HIT HIM FROM BEHIND.
Thunder mounts a near turnbuckle pointing a finger at Ravage on the floor. Ravage is on his feet mouthing obscenities at Thunder as Jack Cole struggles to keep Ravage from entering back into the ring. Thunder sits perched on the announcers side turnbuckle watching the clock count down.
Crowd: 3....2...1...(horn)
The music hits, and the Corrupter steps through the curtain, wielding a black steel chair with "EWA" sprayed on it. He walks slowly down the ramp, and when he sees a sign he didn't like (A sign of Rick the Brick) he takes it and rips it up. Then he throws the pieces on the fan's head. Then he sets the chair down next to the announcer's table. Thunder backs away from the ropes and motions Corrupter in. Corrupter climbs the apron and steps through the ropes. Thunder attacks as Corruptor steps through landing punches on Corruptors face. Thunder goes for the Irish whip but Corrupter reverses sending Thunder on the go. Corrupter quickly follows behind and lands a Clothesline on Thunder driving him to the canvass. Corrupter gets up and starts hitting forearm drops across Thunder's throat. Corrupter picks up Thunder and lands a quick DDT.
B.A.: CORRUPTER, THE FRESH MAN, IS GOING AFTER THUNDER LIKE A MAN ON A MISSION!!!
Corrupter stomps a few times on Thunder and then pulls him up off the mat. Corrupter brawls Thunder into a turnbuckle and shoves Johnny's head back exposing the chest area. Corrupter lands several knife edge chops on Thunder driving the wind out of him. The crowds high pitched "wooo's" sound through the air with each impact. Corrupter lowers his head and drives a shoulder into the midsection of Thunder mashing him against the turnbuckles. Corrupter whips Johnny across the ring with all his power, Thunder's back rams the opposite turnbuckles on the announcer's side of the ring and he falls to floor face first.
B.A.: A brilliant display of power on the part of the Corrupter here, and he is just manhandling Johnny Thunder!!!
Mr.D: I don't think Thunder is gonna last much longer B.A.!!! THROW HIM OUT!!!!
The Corrupter retrieves Thunder from the mat and muscles him against the ropes. Corrupter hits a few more chops on Johnny's chest and then goes for the over hand right. Thunder throws up a desperation block and lands a roundhouse of his own, then another, then another reeling Corrupter back.
Crowd: 3...2...1...( horn)
Corrupter and Thunder stop to turn their attention toward the Psychotron as "Belly of the Beast" by Anthrax signals the entrance of the next opponent. Malevolence comes out from the Psychotron and runs toward the ring. He dives under the top rope as Corrupter rushes toward the stage side of the ring. Malevolence throws a Big Boot into the face of the Corrupter thrusting him backward against the ropes with Thunder, who is still slightly dazed. Malevolence rushes the two men arms wide apart for the clothesline but Thunder ducks down to the mat causing Malevolence to miss him and only connecting with Corrupter. Corrupter flips backwards and in desperation grabs the trunks of Malevolence and both the men hit the floor.
B.A.: MALEVOLENCE AND CORRUPTER ARE OUT OF THIS MATCH!!! MALEVOLENCE ELIMINATES CORRUPTER BUT CORRUPTER TOOK MALEVOLENCE WITH HIM!!! JOHNNY THUNDER IS DEFYING THE ODDS AND IS STILL IN THIS MATCH UP!!!!
Mr.D: AAAAHHHHH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! THAT SHRIMP JOHNNY THUNDER IS THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE EWA!!!
Jack Cole stands between Malevolence and Corrupter who've managed to get back to their feet outside the ring. Cole signals both of the men's elimination with a finger point to the back. Malevolence becomes enraged and attacks Corrupter on the outside. The two exchange blows over and over on the outside of the ring while Thunder gets back to his feet shaking his head to get the cobwebs out. Cole fights desperately to get the two apart then calls down the security team. Five of the EWA staff security come running down and manage to get the two apart as they scream at each other wildly pointing fingers at each other. Thunder climbs the second turnbuckle and begins yelling and taunting at the two and both men change their focus to him mouthing obscenities in Thunder's direction.
B.A.: Malevolence and Corrupter getting into a little extra-curricular activity here finally being separated are furious at Johnny Thunder. A little jealous that he's still in this match up.
Mr.D: I don't call it jealousy!!! I call it being PISSED OFF!!!
B.A.: I'm sure your right about that. Corrupter and Malevolence still refusing to go to the backstage area both wanting a piece of Thunder still.
Crowd: 3....2...1..(horn)
El Spastico sprints down from the backstage area and dives into the ring without any entrance music. Thunder neglects to notice the arrival of his new opponent as he continues to taunt the two men below him on the outside of the ring. El Spastico rushes toward Thunder and leaps into the air Dropkicking Thunder over the ropes and down onto Malevolence, Corrupter, and the security team. Spastico raises his arms and laughs hideously as Corrupter and Malovolence get to their feet and a pier six brawl ensues on the outside between the three men, with the security team fighting to separate all three of them. Slowly the three men with the aid of the security team start heading toward the back still exchanging blows. Spastico takes a seated on the canvass leaning up against a turnbuckle on the announcer's side of the ring. He watches as the brawl continues to the backstage area and the clock counts down.
B.A.: Folks we'll keep you updated if we can on the fight that seems to be still going on in the back, but momentarily El Spastico is gonna have to sit and wait for the final opponent to enter the ring here.
Mr.D: That's good for Spaz. He can just sit and take a breather and not have to worry about the last guy being more refreshed than him!!!
Spastico makes a motion and looks at an imaginary watch on his wrist as the digital on the Psychotron nears the zero count. Around the arena fans start to stand on their feet and mull about. Some cheers start to sound and the rest of the "unaware" crowd counts down. Spastico stands on his feet and gets in a fighting stance as the counter on the Psychotron hits ten seconds. He readies himself for the next opponent watching the curtain underneath the Psychotron.
Crowd: 3....2...1...(horn)
.........
........
........
B.A.: Folks....it seems.....we are missing a participant in this match.....
The crowd erupts in cheers as a path clears from near Mr.D. Bridge shoots out from the opening of the crowd and hurdles the barricade. Bridge jumps up onto the apron and then leaps up onto the top rope and performs a Springboard Clothesline on El Spastico who has no idea Bridge is behind him. Bridge quickly rolls Spastico and goes for the cover. Cole slides into the ring from the outside.
Cole: 1...2...(kick out)
B.A.: A NEAR FALL!!! WE ALMOST HAD A NEW CHAMPION AS EL SPASTICO WAS SURPRISED FROM BEHIND
Mr.D: THAT WASN'T FAIR!!! BRIDGE CHEATED!!!
Bridge and Spastico both get up from the mat quickly and start going toe to toe. Spastico ducks under a roundhouse right from Bridge and slingshots off the ropes and hits a Cross Body Press for the cover.
Cole: 1...2...( kick out)
B.A.: SPASTICO RETURNS THE FAVOR FOR A TWO COUNT!!!!
Spastico picks up Bridge and Scoop Slams him to the mat. Spastico gets back to a vertical base and turns away from bridge and jumps into the air for a Standing Moonsault, but Bridge thinks quickly and brings his knees up into the midsection of Spastico as he descends from the air. Spastico grabs his abdomen in pain and his face turns red as he tries to get a breath.
B.A.: Bridge with a split second decision driving those knees up and knocking the wind out of Spastico.
Mr.D: If Spaz woulda hit that it would have all been over.
Bridge groggily gets up and sees Spastico on the mat. He walks over and whips him into the corner. Spastico walks up the rope and jumps back to Bridge who followed. Spastico lands on Bridges shoulders and attempts a hurricanranna, Bridge grabs the rope. Bridge uses all his strength, grabbing onto the legs of Spastico and lifts Spastico's torso back up into the air and drives him down into the canvass with a Powerbomb.
B.A: BRIDGE COUNTER THE, ALL TO FAMILIAR, HURRICANRANNA FROM SPASTICO!!! MY GOD!!! SPASTICO'S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE MAT LIKE A BASKETBALL OFF THE PARQUET AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.
Mr.D: I think he's dead!!!
Bridge picks up Spastico's lifeless body and Irish whips him across the ring. Bridge ducks down for the back body drop but Spastico leaps over and lands a Sunset Flip for a two count but Bridge gets a shoulder up. The two jump up and start going at it, each landing blow for blow on the other. Spastico drives a knee up into Bridges stomach gaining the advantage. Spastico hits Bridge with a short arm clothesline and quickly mounts a near turnbuckle. Spastico waits for Bridge to get to his feet and then jumps into the air for a Missile Dropkick. Spastico jumps up off the canvass and starts pounding his fist intot he air signaling for the finish.
B.A.: IT COULD ALL BE OVER HERE SPASTICO IS CALLING FOR THE ANCHOVY BUSTER!!!
Mr.D: BRIDGE AIN'T GOT A CHANCE!!! SPASTICO IS GOING TO BE THE NEW CHAMPION
Spastico hooks Bridge into the suplex position for the finisher but Bridge shoves a leg in between Spastico's, hooking him around the legs for the counter. Bridge grabs the trunks of Spastico and pulls down on his "hooked" arm putting Spastico into the suplex position. Bridge lifts Spastico into the air and hits The Dambuster. Bridge goes for the cover.
Jack Cole: 1...2...3
B.A.: HE'S DONE IT!!! HE'S DONE IT!!! BRIDGE IS THE NEW EWA TV TITLE CHAMPION. HE HITS THE DAMBUSTER AND ITS ALL OVER!!!! BRIDGE IS A CHAMPION!!!!!
Mr.D: NOOOOOOOO!!! HE COUNTERED THE ANCHOVY BUSTER!!!!!
B.A.: HE SURE THE HELL DID AND HE'S GOT THE GOLD TO PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!
Bridge receives the belt from referee Jack Cole and rolls out of the ring. He raises his arms in the air with the belt over his shoulder, gasping for breath. He makes his way to the back as P.O.D. plays over the P.A. The camera cuts backstage to the president's office. Mr Flaws is sitting at his desk, talking on the telephone.
Prez" I don't give two alabama shits what you think Matt, you're just the vice president. I make the decisions around here, not you. If I say that punk is going out, then out he goes! Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone to attend to"
The prez slams down the phone and turns his attention to his guest. The camera turns to reveal a man just under six foot tall, but around the build of Triple H. He is dressed casually in a black Versace emsemble, his hair slicked back and his eyes shielded by black sunglasses. There is i diamond motif on the right lense of the letters DT
B.A. "Whaaa?!?!?! That's.....That's DAMIAN THORNE (crowd cheer at seeing the former EWA Extreme champion on the psychotron) D, Damian Thorne is back here in the EWA!
Mr.D "I doubt it Bill. Our old friend is currently the president's emissary of destruction in the WWA. He'll be here for one reason only, there's an ass on his list that has to be kicked"
(camera cuts back)
Prez" We'll, there it is(pushes an envelope over the heavy desk's surface) exactly what you asked for. I hope it's worth the...investment, so to speak?"
DT" Trust me...........It's on. The WWA shook with my impact last time, this time it's different. You wait boss, and you won't be dissapointed"
B.A. "What the hell are those two up to?"
Mr.D "Woohoo! I have no idea what it is Bill, but I can't wait to find out"
We cut once again to see Marcus Allen running through the backstage area. He rushes to Rick The Brick's locker room with a microphone in hand. As he arrives at the door, he notices that it is slightly opened, and takes the opprotunity to eaves drop a bit.
Allen: BA, Mr. D...the door is opened. I am going to see if I can listen in to what is going on in this monster's locker room.
BA: Well good god, be careful. That man is capable of killing his own mother for christ's sake.
Mr. D: His Mother? Hell no, Bill. Only if the price was big enough.
Two voices can be heard in the background. The first is easily distinguishable as Bricks, but the second is somehow elusive and unidentifiable.
Brick: Yeah yeah yeah, I know the plan.
Voice: Well fuckin make sure you stick to it.
Brick: (chuckling)Listen, I'm not the one that needs help here, I'd watch your mouth if I were you.
Voice: Yeah? Well if I were you I'd pay attention to this large wad of cash here, not my mouth you big dumb bastard. As if you've ever seen this much money before in your life.
Brick: (amused)Oh, I'll pay attention to the cash, and I'll make sure everything is taken care of, don't worry about that.
Voice: Well then, I guess I'll see you after the match. WE can go get some hoes, drink some fucking Cognac, and drink, piss, and tell lies....
As the second man begins to stir, Allen steps away from the door, making a small, but large sound as he falls. Brick: Hang on a sec..... Brick busts out of the door and finds Allen sprawled out on the floor.
Brick: Well well well. I didn't know I was slated for an interview....
Allen: Well....interview...yeah that's it. I was about to knock but I fell.....
Brick: WHile listening in on my little conversation. marcus, this is unacceptable behavior.
Brick grabs Allen and lifts him into the air, placing him over his huge shoulder.
Brick: (Aside to the mystery man)What do you think we should do about this little intrusion.....?
Voice: Hell....Bring him on in here. I got some plans for the little guy.
Allen: No! Come on....Lets talk about this! What do you want, Money?
Brick stops Allen: Yeah...Money! I have a lot of it.
Brick puts Allen to his feet. Allen pulls out his wallet and starts to fumble through it. Brick snatches it from Allen's hand.
Brick: hmmm....this should be enough.
Allen: But what about my credit cards?
Brick: Like I said...it should be enough. Leave!
Allen turns to walk away, as he nears the corner of the hall, Brick yells.
Brick: OH! Hey Allen....you'd better not say one word to anyone about what you've seen. Remember, I have eyes everywhere..... Brick's laugh can be heard echoing through the hallway.
BA: Now what is this? Mystery men in the locker rooms?
Mr. D: Mystery? It's no mystery! It was Flaws!!
BA: Can you prove that?
Mr. D: Can you disprove it?
Suddenly REM's Bang and Blame pops over the PA. The ChairMAN pops out from behind the curtain, with chair in hand.
Mr. D: This guy is fucking ridiculous!
BA: Why do you say that?
Mr. D: Chairman? With a chair? For god's sake, are we seing La Parka all over again?
BA: Point well taken.
ChairMAN strolls to the ring with his chair held high in the air. He hops in the cage, spreads various weapons throughout the ring, and ceremoniously sets up the chair before sitting in it, awaiting the rest of the contestants. The arena goes dark. Angel of Death blares through the dark arena. The lights come on, and Dynamite is standing in the ring behind the chairman!
BA: What is this guy up to?
Mr. D: Hell if I know?
Dynamite stealthily kicks all the weapons out of the cage.
BA: I guess he's not to familiar with the hardcore rules, huh?
Mr. D: What the fuck is this? Is he working for those damned parent censor groups? No weapons in a hardcore cage match?
BA: I dunno, I guess we'll find out.
Dynamite sneaks up behind ChairMAN and pulls the chair out from underneath him. ChairMAN plops to the mat. Dynamite tosses the chair out of the cage as well. The two stare off.
BA: I guess Dynamite thinks he's better off turning this into a regular Cage match.
Mr. D: Well he's ruining it for the rest of us!!
Sound of prison door slamming shut
You see us comin and you altogether run for cover.
We're taking over this town.
Cowboys From Hell continues to blare as a sreies of pyro effects go off at the stage area. Lockdown emerges from the back pushing a trash can full of goodies.
BA: Well there goes any hope for Dynamite's non hard core match.
Mr. D: Yep..looks like he's fully armed and ready to kick some ass.
Lockdown walks swiftly and deliberately down the ramp, until he notices a 6 year old boy with a sign that reads, "Lockdown Gets Knocked Down" Lockdown stops, stares at the boy.
BA: I hope to god that even this brute has some pity!
Mr. D: They don't lock people up for having pity.
He inhales deeply and spits in the childs face. When the child's father protests, Lockdown backhands him to the floor. Water bottles, beverage cups, half-eaten hot dogs and other arena trash rain down as the crowd erupts with boos.
Mr. D: The also don't lock people up for being very well liked.
BA: You said that not me!
Mr. D: Oh Come on! Do you think this guys gives a shit about what I say? All he cares about is hurting people!
BA: How do you know that?
Mr. D: Because all you have time to do locked up is read books, work out, and develop very deep antisocial behavior!
Lockdown continues to the cage, smirking the whole way. As he reaches the door he tosses his trash can into the cage, climbs in, and glares at the other two wrestlers.
BA: Well there are three of them.
Mr. D: Brick is still probably in the back talking to Flaws. BA: That wasn't Flaws! Couldn't you tell by the voice?
Mr. D: Careful. When Brick gets here, I'll hire him to kick your ass!
B O O M!! I
'll never find the time
To find another fucking place
I'm a Bad Mother Fucker
Who lives it everyday
You never find the time
YOu never look me in the face
I'm a timebomb Timebomb Baby.
B O O M!!!
Pyros explode as the massive Brick clumbers onto the ramp as the music continues to bounce around the arena.
BA: God help us all...
Mr. D: From what? This guy takes plastic Bill, remember?
BA: Well are you going to give him your credit cards if he comes over here?
BA: Nope. I'm with you.
Brick clombers down the ramp. A "Brick is my Mom" sign flies into the air. Brick stops, snatches the sign and reads it. It is the same fan whose child insulted Lockdown!
BA: I'm telling you D, this is not good. He is going to kill that fan!
Mr. D: Hell no he isn't! He isn't getting paid to kick that fans ass. Besides, what is that fan trying to prove? That he is stupid?
Brick looks at the sign, looks back at the fan who has hidden behind his girlfriend, and looks back at the sign. Brick smiles, hands the sign back, and smacks the fans girlfriend on the ass.
Mr. D: He is Soooo smooth!!
BA: Tell him that when he gets that Sexual harrassment suit.
Mr. D: What Suit? He'll just kick the judge's ass. The lawyer's ass. The jury's ass...
BA: Yeah I get the picture.
Brick climbs into the cage, and walks right into the middle of the ring. He slowly spins around, connecting eyes with each of the other wrestler, almost daring them to attack.....
BA: The other guys look like they are scared to death!
Mr. D: wouldn't you be? This mofo is unstoppable!
The three wrestlers look at each other. Lockdown and ChairMAN attack each other, and Dynamite charges Brick. Brick levels Dynamite with a huge clothesline as Lockdown and the chairMAN duke it out on the opposite side of the ring.
BA: HUGE CLOTHESLINE BY BRICK!
Mr. D: Shit....go ahead and call lost and found.
BA: Why?
Mr. D: Because I'm sure that dumbass Dynamite will probably want his head back after the match.
Brick grabs Dynamite's foot as he tries to crawl away. Dynamite rolls over to his back and tries to kick at Brick. Brick grads his foot, delivers a nasty stomp to the groin, and tosses Dynamite into the cage.
BA: Like A Dart!!! Brick just threw Dynamite into the cage like he was a human dart!!
Mr. D: DOn't get your panties in a wad Bill.
BA: Why not?
Mr. D: Because I'm sure it will only get worse.
Dynamite bounces off the cage, into the waiting arms of Brick. Brick squeezes him in a bearhug, delivers a few vicious headbutts, and the throws Dynamite across the ring again, this time right into the middle of Lockdown and the ChairMAN.
BA: Now What!?
Mr. D: I'm not sure, but I think Lockdown and Dynamite didn't appreciate that.
Lockdown and the Chairman look at each other, and then charge Brick, but Lockdown stops after ChairMan charges.
Mr. D: Look at that! Lockdown is a smart bastard!
Brick raises his foot and Chairman smashes into it, head first.
Lockdown looks at Brick, and then stomps at Dynamite.
BA: It looks like Lockdown doesn't want any part of Brick tonight!
Mr. D: Well. What about that damn plan of his? Where is it now!?
Lockdown takes the dazed Dynamite by the back of the head and drags his face over the steel bars.
B.A.: My goodness! He's playing jailhouse xylophone with the chairman's face!
Mr.D: Ha!-HA! Thats my favorite song. ENCORE, ENCORE!
Dynamite struggles to get back on his feet as Lockdown rummages around in his trash can and produces a hockey skate
.
B.A.: Now what on earth is he gonna do with that?
Mr. D: Why do you have this job?
BA: What do you mean?
Mr. D: All you do is ask ..˜What is this about?.... or "What is he going to do with that? What the hell do you think he is going to do with it?
Dynamite, regains his vertical base and turns to face Lockdown. Lockdown bashes dynamite across the face with the blade of the skate, splitting his face wide open.
Mr.D: HE SCOOORRES!!! That is what he was going to do with that skate!
BA: Never in my life have I seen anything that brutal!
As Dynamite lays bleeding, across the ring ChairMAN has armed himself with his chair. Brick looks at him like he is stupid. The Chairman lays into Brick with a steel chair.
Mr. D: WHAP!!!!
BA: I don't know how smart that was!!
Mr. D: Doesn't matter. Nothing is going to matter if he doesn't make sure he finishes the job.
Brick stumbles back, and regains his balance. The Chairman looks at the chair, now with a huge dent in it, and hits him again
.
BA: WHAM!! Chairman is trying to take Brick's head off.
Mr. D: I think it might take a little more than that pissant can give.
BA: Oh I don't know about that.
Mr. D: Shut up.
Brick stumbles back again. The Chairman looks at the now broken chair, and tosses it to the floor. As Brick stumbles into the ropes, The ChairMAN arms himself with a Stop sign.
BA: I guess that chair didn't work for him...
Mr. D: Would it work for you?
BA: I wouldn't be dumb enough to hit that monster with one.
Mr. D: Hell fire...We finally agree on something.
ChairMAN swings at Brick with the stop sign, and it breaks over his head. BrIck drops to his knees. ChairMan runs over and grabs a garbage can. Brick tries to get to his feet, but is leveled with the garbage can. Brick drops back to his knees.
BA: GOOD GOD! Can anything take this monster off his feet!?!
Mr. D: Yeah! About a thousand dollars!
BA: I'm talking about in the ring.
Mr. D: SO was I.
ChairMAN winds up again, but Brick catches him by the throat.
BA: OH NO! CHOKESLAM!!!!
Mr. D: That is how you kick some ass!! Brick doesn't let go of ChairMAN's throat, and easily pulls him back into the air.
BA: GOOD GOD! ANOTHER CHOKESLAM!!! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER!!
Mr. D: .....holy shit. I have never seen such an awesome display before in my life.
Brick still doesn't let go. He pulls Chairman, now blue in the face, to his feet. Brick smiles, and tosses him into the cage. Meanwhile Dynamite kicks Lockdown in the groin. Lockdown doubles over with a sick grin on his face. Dynamite bounces off the ropes..
BA: Bulldog! He just leveled Lockdown with that bulldog!
Mr. D: Yeah...well Dynamite is out of his element in this hardcore match. I'm sure it will catch back up to him.
BA: In his element or not, Dynamite is a dangerous competitor.
Dynamite goes for the cover on Lockdown. One.. Two.. Rick picks up dynamite by the waistband of his tights,tosses him to the side, and shakes his head at him.
BA: Looks like Rick the Brick wants the title for himself.
Mr. D: What gave you that idea ,Genius?
BA: Oh would you just shut it!
Mr. D: Dont make me give Rick 20 bucks to kick your ass!
BA: Uh..Lets just announce the match!
ChairMAN returns to the action, armed with another chair.
Mr. D: Now I'm not supergenius or anything, but where the hell did ChairMAN get that chair? It's like his fifth one!
BA: In his trunks?
Mr. D: I dunno....go find out.
BA: I don't think so!
Mr. D: Come on! It's investigative journalism
.
ChairMAN levels Lockdown with the chair. Brick steps towards him, and gets a chair to his head. Brick stumbles back, but Dynamite rolls him backwards into a pin! ONE!
BA: Brick just kicked out and sent Dynamite flying across the ring!
Mr. D: He's a monster! I've been telling you and all these ignorant people here that all damned night!
Brick stands up, and shrugs. He looks around, and then slides out of the ring.
BA: I guess he has decided that discretion is the better part of valor.
Mr. D: Or he's thinking he should let those pussies destroy each other for him!
Dynamite is bleeding profusely. He and ChairMAN start to double team Lockdown with a double clothesline. Lockdown falls to the mat and crawls around the ring, trying to escape the onslaught of Nazi stomps from the Chairman and Dynamite. Near the corner he grabs his length of barbed wire. Lockdown fights off the pain and makes it to his feet. He Quickly sidesteps a kick from dynamite as he pulls the Chairman in front of him. Lockdown wraps the barbed iwre around the chairman's throat and chokes him with it. Dynamite recognizes this as an opportunity to get in some free shots on the chairman, and throws a few chops to the chest. The crowd counts them out in unison."ONE...TWO...THREE..." As Dynamite is playing to the crowd Rick the Brick levels him with a boot to the back of the head.
B.A.: Rick just kicked Dynamite like a bad pet.
Mr.D: Just like when my cat pissed on the carpet. But that is what he gets for forgetting that he is in a HARDCORE match! It's just not his niche!
Dynamite and Rick battle on the opposite side of the ring as the chairman lays bloody on the mat from an apparent ice-pick Lockdown pulled from his pants. Lockdown drops the ice pick and pulls out a ball pin hammer.
BA: AN ICE PICK!?
Mr. D: Life is hard when you're down Bill!
BA: Yeah...but an Ice pick!?
Mr. D: it is a prison match!
Lockdown, with ballpin hammer in hand, climbs up the side of the cage. At about 3/4 of the way up, he lunges off, driving the hammer into the ChairMAN's head.
Mr.D: The Chairman just got Nailed!!!... HA-HA Get it? Nailed?
B.A.: Yeah I get it.
Mr.D: Then why arent you laughing?
B.A.: Because its not funny.
Mr.D: You Know what is? I talked to your Wife and she said she could use getting nailed a little more often.
BA: By all means. Have at her!
Mr. D: Really?
BA: But I'll hire Brick to break you into a million itty bitty pieces!
Mr. D: Screw you Bill!
Lockdown taunts the ChairMAN, who is almost convulsing after that blow to the head. Across the ring, Brick powerbombs Dynamite on top of a trashcan.
BA: THis is ridiculous!
Mr. D: I know...someone might have needed that trashcan!!
Brick kicks Dynamite a couple of times, and then chokes him with his foot. Meanwhile, Lockdown gets plowed into by a huge chairshot from the ChairMAN. Brick picks Dynamite up....
BA: PANCAKE!! PANCAKE!! PANCAKE!!
Mr. D: Put a fork in that bastard. He's finished.
BA: Maybe if he were a little more familiar with the Hardcore rules.
Mr. D: Yeah...then he wouldn't be unconcious!
Brick gets up and watches The Chairman repeatedly blugeon Lockdown with the chair. Brick feels his forehead. A lump has appeared from the chair shots the ChairMAN gave him earlier.
MR. D: Now that can't be good.
BA: I don't think anything is good when this guy is here.
Brick clumbers over and taps ChairMAN on the shoulder. ChairMAN turns around and tries to hit Brick with the chair, but Brick punches the chair, sending it back into the ChairMAN's face.
MR. D: That's it...he's invincible!!! DO you believe that?
BA: Flaw's beast is unstoppable, there is no doubts there.
Brick sends the ChairMAN into the ropes....
Mr. D: HOLY SHIT! BRICKLAYER!! BRICKLAYER!!!
BA: Now what is he doing!?
Brick takes the unconcious ChairMAN over to the unconcious Dynamite, and lays them next to each other. Brick turns and watches Lockdown struggle to his feet.
MR. D: Next!!!
BA: You know....Lockdown has to feel like a minnow in a barrel
Mr. D: Minnow in a Barrel? What the hell!?
Brick bends over and picks up a chair. Lockdown watches the mammoth man walk towards him, and makes a few "come on" gestures with his hands.
Mr. D: Life in the pen will make you stupid.
BA: Obviously...ever been?
Mr. D: SHut your mouth.
Brick looks at the chair and grins. Lockdown is now yelling at Brick. Brick takes the chair and hands it to Lockdown. Brick nods and moves to the corner of the ring.
BA: WHAT'S THIS!?
Mr. D: I Don't Know! Watch and Shut up!
Lockdown admires the chair momentarily, looks at Brick lounging in the corner, and the walks across the ring.
BA: OH NO! LOCKDOWN IS PUMMELLING THOSE TWO DEFENSELSS HUMAN BEINGS WITH THAT CHAIR!
Mr. D: Tell it like it is.....Lockdown is enjoying pummelling those two defenseless human beings with that Chair!
BA: But What about Brick? Lockdown looks at Brick.
Brick makes a money motion with his hands, and Lockdown reaches into his pocket.
BA: HE JUST TOSSED BRICK A WAD OF MONEY!!!
Mr. D: I guess we know who that otehr person in the locker room was now, don't we?
BA: WHAT A BASTARD! WHAT A COWARD! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LOCKDOWN's MATCH, AND HE HIRED SOMEONE TO HELP HIM?!?
Mr. D: You're wrong ass hole...it appears as if this IS lockdown's match
.
Lockdown crawls ontop of both Dynamite and The ChairMAN as the ref makes the count...
REF: ONE! TWO! THREEEEE!!!!!
BA: Well there he iS! The EWA Extreme Champion! D, I'm sick. That made me sick!
Mr. D: Planning is invaluable. Lockdown just took advantage of a good situation you dumb bastard.
Brick snatches the Extreme belt away from the ring attendant, and drapes it over Lockdown's shoulder. He looks at Lockdown, and the two nod. Brick exits from the cage and walks back up the ramp.
BA: Folks, Lockdown might have won the title, but there is no doubt that Brick was completely and inarguably dominant!
Mr. D: Well, business is business. Lockdown made the man an offer. Blame the VP! He's the one that fined Brick!
Lockdown returns to his trash can and retrieves one last item, a brown paper bag.
BA: Now Wh...
Mr. D: (interrupting BA Let me do it! Now What is in that bag!?
BA: You're good at that!
Mr. D: Should be, I have to listen to your repetitive ass all night!
He carries it over to the two unconcious victims, and pulls out a tattoo gun. Lockdown kicks ChairMAN over onto his stomach. He squats down and pulls ChairMAN's tights down, exposing their rear ends, and goes to work with the tattoo gun.
BA: Is HE!? I think he is going to tattoo! ChairMAN!
Mr. D: AHHH The smell of Prison Ink!
Suddenly Dynamite cracks Lockdown in the head with the ring bell! Lockdown slumps over as blood begins to flow from the back of his head.
BA: HE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!
Mr. D: A bit too late though!
BA: Well there will prbably be a next time, I can assure you of that!
Lockdown lays holding the back of his head. Dynamite takes the title, and drapes it over Lockdown before he leaves.
BA: A bold statement by Dynamite! Folks, the battle for the EWA Euromerican title is up next. While the ring hands dismantle this cage of carnage, let's take you backstage to Marcus Allen, who is with The Corruptor
Marcus "Well folks, here we are with The Corruptor, one of the participants in tonights fabulous TV title rumble. Now, we have a new EWA TV champion in Bridge. Your thoughts on that Mr......erm, Corruptor"
Corruptor "I'm extremely pissed off that I lost. It was supposed to be my night! I was supposed to grace the ring and win the TV title! But, no! My stupid opponent had to eliminate me! Well, I'm not taking this anymore! On the next card, I want to face the 'new' TV champion, and let me tell you something, kid. I won't stop at anything until I get that belt. The world expects me to corrupt the federation, and I shall do that by making the belts corrupt. If I need to pay off President Flaws, or something, I will. It will be my time!"
Marcus "Well, strong words there. Bill, back to you"
B.A.: Thanks for coming back folks, and what an awesome night its been so far. The TV title match has been won by none other than Bridge in our first bout of the pay-per-view. Bridge was both the last man in and the last man standing.
Mr.D: Yeah but its not over yet. We've got another Battle Royal style match about to start.
B.A.: Right you are D and this one similar to the first one in that each opponent can be eliminated by being thrown over the top rope until...there are only two participants left. From that point the match has to be won by a pinfall or submission.
Mr.D.: Yes, but there is one difference. This time there is no clock. All for men will start in the ring so there won't be any "fresh" guys coming in from the back.
Suddenly Of Wolf and Man by Metallica blasts over the PA system as Damian " The Wolf " Smith steps through the curtains as the British flag waves on the Psychotron suddenly white pyrotechnic explosions go off as Red and Blue strobes and spotlights wave around the arena as Damian " The Wolf " Smith walks down to the ring with a serious demeanor upon his face and then stops suddenly looking from side to side with a cocky smile flexes for the crowd and then brushes the top of his right shoulder off and climbs up the ring stairs and waves back whoever is in the ring and climbs in walking to the opposite corner watching carefully waiting for his next move.
Mr.D.: I like this guy, he's gonna go far here in the EWA. I'll even put money on him as the new Euroamerican title.
B.A.: Well he's gonna have to go through four other guys to do it.
Mr.D.: Yeah but he's European. Who better to have the Euroamerican Title?
B.A. and Mr. D are silenced as the opening guitar chords to "My Way" play. The arena lights dim and a white angel appears on the Psychotron. Smoke
drifts onto the entrance and blue lights shine down onto it.
"You think you're special, you do,
I can see it in your eyes,
I can see it when you laugh at me,
Look down on me,
And walk around on me"
As the opening lines are sung red pyro goes off on either side of the entrance and the ramp. Then out of the smoke emerges Everybody's Victim, the
crowd cheer as he runs down to the ring. He is wearing a black trenchcoat over his wrestling attire and as he runs down the ramp, pillars of blue
flame erupt from either side as he passes. When he reaches the ring he removes his trenchcoat and throws it into the crowd. He then enters the
ring, and runs straight at The Wolf.
B.A.: CROW DOESN'T WASTE ANY TIME WAITING FOR THE OTHER PARTICIPANTS HE'S READY TO GET IT ALL STARTED!!!!
Mr.D: He can't do that the bell hasn't even sounded yet.
As Damian and Jarod battle each other in the ring "I stand alone" by Godsmack erupts over the P.A. system. J.C. Swinger runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. Swinger immediately goes for Crow who has his back to him. Swinger and Smith floor Crow with punches and kicks and start stomping on him once he's on the mat.
B.A.: Swinger's now in and Damian and Swinger seem to be working together to destroy Jarod Crow.
Mr. D: SOMETHING NOT RIGHT!!!!
B.A.: That's for damn sure!!!
Mr.D: WHERE IS TINA??
B.A.: GOOD GOD!!!!
Alien Antfarm begins playing over the sound system and Ethan Hunter runs down to get into the action. Hunter slides into the ring and rushes Smith and Swinger flooring them both with a Double Clothesline. Hunter starts stomping on Damian Smith on the announcers side of the ring. Swinger grabs the back of his head and kicks his feet in pain. Crow, back on his feet, starts his offensive onslaught on Swinger and drops several knees into Swinger's sternum while he' son the mat. Smith and Hunter exchange punches for a bit then Smith gets the extra right hand in gaining the advantage. Smith front toe kicks Hunter in the gut doubling him over and takes him to the mat with a Fireman's Carry takedown and quickly follows up with Figure Four Leglock.
Mr.D.: YOU CAN'T WIN THAT WAY DUMBASS!!!!
B.A.: Damian Smith locking on that submission early. He won't be able to win with it right now but he sure as hell can do some damage to Hunter's leg.
Crow picks Swinger up from the mat and lets loose some right hands reeling him back against the ropes. Crow goes for the Irish whip but Swinger counters and sends Crow. Crow rebounds, ducking under a clothesline attempt by Swinger. Swinger turns around to find his missed target and is greeted with a Superkick by Crow. Crow jumps on top of Swinger and starts landing a series of mounted punches on Swinger. On the other side of the ring The Wolf lets the go of his submission hold after he thinks he's done sufficient damage. Damian grabs Hunter by the hair and lifts him up. Damian steps in behind Hunter and takes him down again with a Side Russian Leg Sweep.
B.A.: CROW IS GOING BERSERK ON SWINGER AND THE WOLF IS PUTTING ON A WRESTLING SHOW!!! THIS IS ONE HELL OF AN ACTION PACKED BOUT!!!
Mr.D: YEAH BUT WHERE IS TINA!?!
Damian follows the takedown with an Ankle Lock as Hunter screams in pain. Crow dismounts Swinger and lifts him up by the head. Swinger quickly stabs a thumb into Crow's eye for separation. Swinger lands some overhand rights to Crow's forehead and then takes Crow down with and Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Damian waits until Hunter seems to be close to passing out then releases the ankle Lock. Damian stomps Hunter a few more times for good measure and turns around towards Swinger. Swinger is floored by a forearm to the back by Smith.
B.A.: Smith has completely taken over this match and is punishing everyone in the ring. Things are looking good for the newcomer.
Mr.D: ........( the camera show's D standing up looking around the arena then cuts back to the action.)
Crow struggles to his feet on the opposite side of the ring and goes for Hunter who is lying on the mat grabbing his leg. Damian picks Swinger up off the mat and hits a Single Arm DDT and then locks Swinger into a Crippler Crossface submission hold. Crow retrieves Hunter from the other side of the mat greeting him with a series of punches to the jaw. Hunter backs into the turnbuckle defenseless as Crow hits some serious Knife Edge Chops on Ethan's chest. The crowd begins to stand on their feet and turns their attention away from the action and towards the Psychotron
B.A.: Something seems to be happening in the background. I can't really see because of all the men in the ring.
Mr.D.: IT'S...IT'S....IT'S ....PRESIDENT FLAWS!!!!
B.A.: PHIL FLAWS HAS COME OUT TO THE RING!!! THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR SOMEBODY!!!
Flaws passes the stage area stopping in the middle of the ramp to eye the action. He focuses his attention on a participant in the ring then makes his way a few steps down to the ring and stops. He watches the action again and takes a few steps closer. Smith releases the Crossface on Swinger and thrusting his legs up into the air bringing hard knees down on the shoulder of Swinger as Smith pins his arms to the mat. Hunter counters a punch from Crow in the corner and reverses his position putting Crow in the corner. Ethan lands a few quick chops of his own and then pulls Crow out from the corner against the ropes. Ethan goes for the whip but Crow reverses sending Ethan across the ring toward the stage side ropes. Ethan nears the ropes turning his body for the rebound when Flaws jumps up and grabs the top rope pulling it down. Unable to stop his momentum, Hunter backflips over the rope onto the floor bouncing the back of his head off the concrete.
B.A.: HUNTER IS OUT!!! HUNTER IS OUT!!! ETHAN HUNTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED THANKS TO THAT....THAT...THAT DAMNED EVIL PHIL FLAWS!!!
Mr.D.: IT'S NOT FLAWS' FAULT ETHAN HUNTER IS A CLUTS!!!
B.A.: CLUTS MY ASS, HUNTER HAS BEEN CHEATED AGAIN AT THE HANDS OF PHIL FLAWS!!!!
Flaws stands over Hunter and points a finger down into his face then struts back up the ramp to the backstage area. Damian lands one last knee on Swinger's shoulder and gets up off Swinger. Crow takes the open opportunity and hits Damian Smith in the back of the leg with a Chop Block. Damian grabs his knee as he goes down and squirms on the mat. Swinger gets a vertical base and attacks Crow as he gets up from his offensive maneuver. Damian slides out of the ring under the rope and walks around outside shaking his leg. Swinger picks Crow up from the mat then returns him with a Spinebuster and follows it up with a Sharpshooter near the stage side ropes. Smith makes his way around to the announcers table and slides back into the ring. Smith enters the ring and calmly walks toward Swinger a few steps. Swinger, keeping the submission hold applied looks straight into the eyes of Smith. Smith, arrogantly walks up to Swinger and slaps him across the face then back away. Swinger releases the submission and stands up facing smith. Swinger's face begins to turn red with rage as he rushes Damian Smith. Crow pulls himself back to his feet as Swinger takes off. Smith, a split second before Swinger reaches him, drops to his back pulling down the top rope. Swinger flies over the top rope but manages to get a foot on the apron. Smith gets back to his feet turning his attention toward Crow not seeing Swinger as he grabs the back of his hair and forces Smith to the mat. Smith grabs the back of his head in pain and Swinger hovers over him from the outside and smiles down at him. Crow rushes the announcer's side of the ropes and performs The Justice Strike on Swinger.
B.A.: OH MY GOD!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!! WHAT MOVE!!! Jarod CROW JUST DELIVERED THE JUSTICE STRIKE AND ELIMINATED J.C. SWINGER!!!!
Mr.D: AAAAHHHHH!!......THAT'S WHAT HE GETS FOR NOT BRINGING TINA OUT HERE TO WATCH HIS BACK!!!!
Damian Smith regains his composure and rolls out of the ring and grabs Crow before he can get up. Damian performs a simple Hiptoss on the outside dropping Crow on the hard concrete floor. Crow grabs his back in pain, crying out in agony. Damian grabs Crow by the head and rolls him into the ring. Damian follows inside and quickly locks Crow into a Camel Clutch. Referee Bill Williams fights with Swinger as he tries to get back into the ring. The Wolf sits way back into the submission and Crow pounds the mat for the tap but Williams is halfway up the stage with Swinger still. Damian becomes frustrated and releases the maneuver and walks over to the stage side ropes and yells for Williams to get back into the ring, which the referee does.
Mr.D: HE TAPPED OUT!!! DAMIAN SMITH IS OUR NEW EUROAMERICAN CHAMP JUST LIKE I SAID!!!
B.A.: HE DID TAP BUT THE REFEREE DIDN'T SEE IT!!! CROW MAY STILL HAVE CHANCE YET!!!!
Damian waits for Williams to slide in and instantly points a finger in his face mimicking the tap out. Williams waves his hands and shakes his head no pointing to his eyes saying he didn't see it. Crow slowly pulls himself up with the aid of the ropes on the announcer's side of the ring. Smith finishes his argument and turns back towards Crow and approaches. Crow takes a small jump into the air as Smith approaches and Dropkicks Smith in the knee. Smith falls like a ton of bricks and grabs his knee. Crow locks in a Figure Four Leg Lock for the submission.
B.A.: CROW'S GOT THE FIGURE FOUR LOCKED IN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! SMITH CAN'T GET TO THE ROPES!!! CROW MAY END THIS RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!
Damian raises his hand in the air fighting the pain. He rolls his hips left and right trying to turn the submission over. Damian manages to shift his weight perfectly rolling the two men over on to their belly and transferring the painful submission over to Crow. Crow screams in pain and pulls his torso up off the mat. He tries desperately to grab the ropes but is just inches short. Crow begins pulling the weight of himself and Smith as hard as he can and finally grabs the bottom rope on the announcers side of the ring. Williams breaks the men apart and starts a 10 count on both of the tired and battered men.
B.A. Someone better get up. If the referee reaches 10 both we'll have a draw and the belt will still be considered vacant. You must WIN this match to win the title.
Williams:....7....8....
Smith pulls himself up first on one side of the ring followed closely by Crow on the opposite side. Damian rushes Crow with his arm extended for the clothesline but Crow ducks under. Damian turns to his missed target and Crow lands a Spinning Heel Kick to Damien's face. Crow quickly mounts a near turnbuckle and stands above the ring. Crow launches into the air flipping and landing The Vengeance. He quickly follows with a cover.
B.A.: A COVER!!! THIS MAY BE ALL SHE WROTE!!!
Williams: 1...2...(kick out)
B.A.: AWWW!! ONLY A TWO COUNT AS SMITH MANAGES TO GET A SHOULDER UP!!!
Crow punches the mat in frustration and looks at Williams in amazement. Smith rolls around clutching his midsection as Crow slowly gets to his feet very winded. Crow goes for a handful of hair but Smith reaches up a rakes Crow across the eyes blinding him with tears. Smith gets to a vertical base and cradles Crows head under his arm. Smith hooks the leg of Crow for the Fisherman Suplex. Crow counters, dropping his body weight and rolls Smith into a Small Package Pin. Williams slides to the mat for the count but Crow releases the pin keeping hold of Smith's leg and rolling it into The Guilt Trip.
B.A.: THE GUILT TRIP!! A SUBMISSION MANEUVER!!! CROW'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!!
Mr.D: NOOOO!!! GRAB THE ROPES!!! GRAB THE ROPES!!!!
Smith reaches out with every inch of his arms but finds his reach just shy of the ropes. Smith tries desperately to crawl to the ropes getting as near as possible and reaches again. He nearly gets a fingernail on the near stage side ropes when Crow stands slightly and pulls him back to the center of the ring and sits down hard into the single leg Boston crab. Smith lets out a horrible deafening scream then pounds the mat.
B.A.: HE TAPPED!!! HE TAPPED!!! JAROD CROW HAS ONE THE EUROAMERICAN TITLE VIA SUBMISSION!!! JAROD CROW IS THE NEW CHAMP!!!
Mr.D: NOOOO!!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! JAROD CROW TAPPED OUT FIRST!!!!!
B.A.: YEAH BUT THE REFEREE DIDN'T SEE IT!! BUT HE SURE THE HELL SAW DAMIAN SMITH TAP OUT!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!
Bill Williams rolls out of the ring and back in with the Euroamerican title and hands it to Jarod Crow. Crow climbs the nearest turnbuckle raising the belt into the air. The crowd cheers wildly as red pyro goes off on the opposite turnbuckle. Smith rolls out of the Ring on the opposite side as Crow dismounts the stage side of the ring and makes his way to the back, turning every few steps to look back at the ring and raise his hands in victory. Cut to backstage, where Steven Rage is sitting in the locker room with Summer. Steven is getting ready for his match tonight for the EWA title. He has a bench press in his locker room and he is pumping iron. The weight bar is bending from the strain of the weight that is on it. And Steven lifts it up and brings it down to his chest after a few reps Summer begins to talk to him.
Summer: So what are you going to do now? Mac is expecting something from you tonight! How are you gonna suprise him?
At this point in time the weight is on his chest. Steven lets out a huge roar and lifts the weight with little effort. He sits up, grabs his bottle of water, pours a small amount on his head, takes a sip and looks at Summer.
Rage: Well he's about to learn that I'm full of suprises! And just when he thinks I can't do anything else to get a one up on him.........I do something that no one expects! And tonight I have the biggest suprise in the world for him! And when we leave tonight I'm going to have the EWA title! And the funny thing is that there is nothing that backwoods trailer park trash can do to stop me......no one can stop me tonight!
Summer: Ohhhh! Tell me! Tell me!
Steven leans in and whispers in her ear and she starts to giggle.
Summer: That is a hilarious plan! You are soooooo bad! And I LOVE it!
Camera goes out with both of them laughing.
BA: You know what D? That just doesn't seem like it is too good.
Mr. D: Well…..You had to figure that Rage was going to have something planned.
BA: Well of course, because he is a cheater!
Mr. D: I'll be sure to tell him you said that!
BA: Why would you want to do that?
Mr. D: So he could kick your ass. That way I could spend a little time with Summer!!
The lights dim in the arena with a singular spotlight shining in the ring. Metallica signals the entrance of Mac Maloy as pyrotechnics shoot into the air.
BA: Fans! THERE HE IS! The man that could be the next EWA champion!!
Mr. D: Not if Rage has something to say about it!
BA: Well he does, kinda. It's all about to be decided!
The usual "Enter Sandman" excerpts flash over the Psychotron as Truck makes his way into the arena and down the ramp with his BMF walk, carrying the tire tool he retrieved from his rig earlier. Truck stops at the bottom of the ramp and eyes the EWA title hanging from the rafters. Truck throws his beat up cowboy hat into the crowd and rushes the ring leaping under the bottom rope, sliding into the ring.
Mr. D: A tool!?
BA: Yeah! A tool. You shouldn't say such things about yourself!
Mr. D: What did you say?
BA: You heard me.
Mr. D: You better be careful or the fans are going to get an extra match!
BA: You feeling Froggy?
Mr. D: Shut up bitch!
Cocky by Kid Rock hits the P.A. and the lights go off.
Mr. D: What is up with everyone having the fucking lights go off during their entrances?
BA: I thought it was kinda neat.
Mr. D: Yeah, the first million times. It's so played out.
BA: Well, here he comes. Ask Rage why he is using played out entrance techniques.
Mr. D: …..I don't like you Bill. I never have.
At the top of the ramp Steven Rage and Summer walk out to and a spotlight circles over to them following them as they walk down to the ring. Rage is wearing a pair of black mid thigh trunks that has a shiny metallic blood drip coming from the waist. He is wearing black boots with red laces. He is slicking back his hair as he walks down to the ring. He is carrying a bottle of water and takes a sip off of it as he walks down.
Mr. D: ….summer…..
BA: The match D. The match!
Mr. D: …….summer…..
Rage climbs into the ring, and the two men stare off in the middle of the ring.
BA: Its about to pick up!
Mr. D: I hope so. I hate stare offs.
BA: You hate everything.
Mr. D: yeah…especially you.
Summer climbs to the apron. Truck turns his attention away from Rage briefly and watches the ref tell Summer to get down. Rage takes advantage and attacks Truck with a flurry of punches.
BA: What kind of a man would use his girlfriend to help him during a match?
Mr. D: …….Summer…..
BA: D!?
Mr. D: Oh…I guess someone in a position to win the EWA championship!
Rage kicks Truck in the groin. Truck crumples in the center of the ring. Rage walks over tot he corner and grabs the tool Truck brought to the ring.
BA: He's going to use his own tool against him!!
Mr. D: DO you have any idea how bad that sounds?
BA: Only to a sick-o like you!!!
Rage winds up and takes a swing. Truck manages to block the blow, thumbs Rage in the eye, and drops him with a scoop slam! Truck bounces off the ropes and lands a huge elbow drop. Summer is visually upset at ringside.
Mr. D: Look! She's upset!!!
BA: Well go comfort her for God's sake! I'm trying to call the match!
Mr. D: ….summer….
Truck pulls Rage to his feet, taunting Summer. Truck Irish whips Rage, but Rage reverses it, and catches Rage in a powerslam!
BA: Huge power Slam by Rage, but its going to take more than that!
Mr. D: Truck is tough, no doubts there, but I don't understand how anyone wrestle with Summer standing around the ring.
BA: Not everyone is dictated by their sexual desires.
Mr. D: Not everyone means you?
BA: Yes! As a matter of fact, YES!
Mr. D: not everyone else is gay either! Faggot!
Rage gives Truck a couple stiff kicks to the back of his head. Truck crawls and manages to grab hold of the tool, and Rage grabs a chair. Truck grasps the short end of the tire tool he carried into the ring, resting the long end of the steel tool against his forearm. As Rage goes for a baseball swing with the chair Truck ducks under and darts to the other end of the ring.
BA: A little agility from Truck!!
Mr. D: I guess he doesn't like his brain scrambled by chair shots!
BA: Who does?
Mr. D: Well it seems like Truck would be used to Rage smashing his head with a chair.
Truck rebounds off the opposite ropes leaping into the air and bringing the forearm, with the tire tool, down across the forehead of Rage. Rage's face becomes Crimson red with blood.
BA: He's BUSTED OPEN!!
Mr. D: Oh the Tangled Web We Weave!! Rage busted Truck wide open in their first match!
BA: But at least Truck did it legally! Rage attacks from behind like a coward!
Truck quickly locks Rage into the STF, however, instead of locking his hands around the side of Rage's head, Truck lowers the hands onto Rage's throat and torques back attempting to choke Rage out. The ref asks Rage if he wants to give it up.
BA: The ref asking Rage if he wants to give it up.
Mr. D: What a dumb ass!!! Like Rage is going to give up in a ladder match!
BA: I guess it was a temporary lapse of reason on the ref's part!
Truck lets go, grabs a chair and crushes it into the back of Rage's head. Truck slides out of the ring and grabs the ladder. Summer tries to stop him, but Truck pushes her to the floor and slides the ladder into the ring.
BA: Things could get interesting here!
Mr. D: What do you mean!?!? He just abused poor lovely Summer.
BA: I'm sure she deserves it. For what reason, I don't know, but I'm sure she deserves it!!
Rage fights his way to his feet while Truck places the ladder, folded up, on the canvass. Truck whips Rage into the ropes and catches him on the rebound. Truck hoists Rage high into the air and performs a Spinebuster maneuver driving rage into the ladder.
Mr. D: He just fucking broke Rage's back!!!
BA: I certainly hope not!
Mr. D: What the hell do you care?
BA: I am an employee of this company! I have a vested interest in the workers here!
Truck quickly rolls Rage off the ladder and locks in a modified reverse chinlock locking his forearms around Rage's throat again, until he feels him go limp. Truck releases the modified reverse chinlock and retrieves the steel folded chair.
BA: Now this doesn't look good!
Mr. D: Shit Man! What does!? This is a brutal style of match. It's not shits and giggles!
BA: Indeed it isn't.
Truck lifts Rage to his feet and places one end of the chair under Rage's chin. Truck slams the chair down forcing Rages down into toward the mat as the chair hits the canvass and drives back up into the throat of Rage. Rage flies backward onto the mat clutching his throat kicking and screaming for air. Truck folds the ladder up and places it in the corner.
BA: It looks like Truck is going to put that massive ladder to use!
Mr. D: It's amazing that he's that smart!
BA: Listen I've had about enough of this! What is your problem with Truck!?
Mr. D: I don't know, do I have to have a reason?
BA: YES! And I'll tell you another thing, after this man becomes the EWA champion, we'll see if you change your tune!
Truck whips Rage into the ladder and takes off from mid ring, attempting a big Traffic Jam, but Rage drops to the floor and Truck smashes into the ladder. Truck falls to the floor and Rage sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and goes for the gold.
Mr. D: HA! Rage once again outsmarts Truck!
BA: We'll see about that! Rage going for the gold!!!
Mr. D: Come On Rage!!! Come ON!!
Truck pushes the ladder over, and Rage falls to the mat.
Mr. D: NOOOO! He was so close!!
BA: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
Mr. D: What the fuck are you talking about!?
BA: close.
Mr. D: …..you're weird, you crazy bastard!
Rage works his way to his feet, Truck grabs him and goes for an Irish whip but Rage reverses the grip, hits the brakes, and reverses the Irish whip.
BA: A reverse by Rage! Truck to the ropes…
Rage catches Truck and powerslams him onto the chair that lies on the middle of the canvass. Rage stands over Truck's limp body and uses the opportunity to climb the ladder and go for the gold. Truck grabs Rage by the tights and flings him across the ring again.
Mr. D: DamN! Rage was stopped again!!
BA: What did you expect? Maybe Truck would set the ladder up and invite him to climb the ladder?
Mr. D: well…..yeah!
Rage bounces to his feet, and charges Truck, but Truck lands a devastating Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and quickly goes for the Transmission, using his massive forearms again and modifying the move into a choke hold. Truck wrenches back on the throat of Rage until Steven stops moving. Truck releases the head of Rage and climbs.
BA: It looks like that ladder has become slightly damaged!
Mr. D: Yeah…..the damn thing is wabbling all over the place!
Truck cautiously climbs the ladder. Summer screams on the outside as Rage climbs to his feet.
BA: looks like Rage is a bit out of it.
Mr. D: You get slammed on a ladder, and we'll see how “in it” you are!
BA: I'd rather not.
Rage looks at Truck climbing the ladder, and begins to climb the opposite side. The ladder sways back and forth as the two men try to scale the unsteady ladder.
Mr. D: QuicK! Hold your BreatH!!
BA: Why?
Mr. D: because I think a feather would knock that ladder over.
Truck reaches the top rung first and desperately reaches upward toward the belt! His fingers push the hanging belt into a swinging motion. Rage delivers a quick punch to Truck's midsection as he reaches for the belt. Rage retaliates with a punch to Rage's head. Rage starts to fall back, but grads on to the top of the ladder.
BA: GOOD GOD! THAT THING IS GOING TO TOPPLE!!!
Mr. D: Go catch them!
BA: I don't want any part of the hatred in that ring! No thanks!
Rage gives Truck another stiff punch to his face, and then reaches for the rope. Truck thumbs Rage in the eye, and then slams his head against the top of the ladder. Blood flows even more easily from Rage's head, but he still manages to hold on.
BA: Look at the toughness of Rage! He won't let go of that ladder!
Mr. D: Come On RAGE!!! Hold ON!!
Truck hits him again, rakes his eyes, hits him again, slams his head on the ladder again, but Rage won't fall. Truck goes for the swinging belt, but Rage manages to hit him in the stretched midsection. Truck elbows Rage in the head, bites his bloody forehead, and tries to push Rage back off the ladder, but Rage manages to hold on. Summer is screaming outside the ring.
BA: Summer rightfully concerned!
Mr. D: Just hold on one Second Stephen!!!!
BA: There is no doubt that he wants that belt! Look how bloody he is, but he still holds on!
Truck smashes Rage's fingers, but Rage won't let go. Truck looks up at the belt, and then back to the bloodied, nearly unconscious Rage. Truck reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a huge chain.
Mr. D: First a tool! Now a chain!
BA: Yeah, but it is legal! Absolutely legal! And it goes to show that Truck WANTS this title! He wants to be the best this business has to offer!
Mr. D: But a chain!?
Truck wraps it around his fist, leans over the swaying ladder, grabs Rage by the back of the head and delivers two hard, stiff shots to the head. Rage sways back, and Truck smashes his fingers with the chain. Rage lets go and almost falls off the ladder.
BA: Almost! Rage is about half a second from plummeting off of that ladder.
Mr. D: COME ON RAGE! DO IT FOR SUMMER!!!!
BA: Why don't you have anything supportive to say to Truck?
Mr. D: Because I don't like him! He doesn't have a fine ass valet!
Truck winds up and nails Rage one more time with the chain, and Rage falls back, over the ropes, onto the cold, hard concrete floor. Summer tries to revive the bloodied Rage as Truck reaches up and manages to unlatch the EWA Title.
BA: THERE HE IS! THE NEW EWA CHAMPION!!!!
Mr. D: Ain't that a bitch!
BA: Rage gave it all he had, but tonight it wasn't good enough. You have to wonder if he gave his strategy for the match his full attention.
Mr. D: Why? Because he lost?
BA: Exactly! Because he lost!
Truck rolls under the bottom rope and takes the ramp to the stage area. Truck turns to the corner of the stage and walks over standing above the floor seat tickets holders. Truck raises the belt high into the air as
the crowd roars the roof off of the Bateman Center. The crowd explodes!!
BA: Would You Listen To that!
Mr. D: Bite me!
BA: You have to at least respect this man! He is the EWA champion, THE man! Until someone comes and takes that away from him, he is THE man!
Mr. D: I know. But I don't have to like it!
Truck drapes the belt over his shoulder and walks to the other corner of the stage. Truck lifts the belt off his shoulder into the air again as the crowd cheers. Truck takes one last look at the belt before placing it back on his shoulder and exits the arena, never taking his eyes off Rage lying in the ring.
BA: Well fans That is it! We have our Champion, and that champion is Mac “Truck” Malloy!!
Mr. D: OH HELL!!! The man deserves it Okay! I said it! He deserves every bit of it!
BA: That is surprising to hear you admit it.
Mr. D: admitting it and liking it are two different things.
BA: Folks, we have seen an amazing night of action here tonight. FOUR new EWA champions, and the man...standing at the top of them all, is MAC "TRUCK" MALOY!!!!!! We're out of time folks, we'll see you for more fantastic EWA action.
Mr. D: And we might even get out of the Bateman Centre!!!!!
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